Typically the result is that by endgame, Jesse gets enough gold to afford a few of the more... luxury... Skarner items. He ends up looking pretty much like this:
Meanwhile our AD carry is petitioning the Fields of Justice for food stamps, and our solo mid is attempting to fashion armor out of used cardboard tubing and wondering how the late-game is going to go with three Doran's Rings and a health pot.
"Sir, sir! The flagship Gesselschaft has crashed into a building!"
"What? Has anyone been injured?"
"Thankfully not, sir-- it seems to just be superficial damage, but it'll need to come in for repairs regardless."
"Hmm. Troubling. It seems odd, though-- do you know what caused the accident? I know Captain Wright to be an excellent pilot."
"Didn't you know, sir? Wright went on shore leave about a week ago. He wanted to spend some more time with his family."
"Who was piloting, then?"
"Alice Wong. She--"
"Alice? But she's a newbie! All she's ever done is pilot a skiff!"
"I'm getting to that, sir. She's being supervised by her father, Joseph Wong, who's been with us for twenty years; this was meant to be a training mission of sorts for her."
Shrug. "Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised this ended badly, Jenkins. After all, every schoolchild knows that two Wongs....."
SCP-1387 was found in the third month
of the excavation of SCP-1357, inside of a locked container (labeled
SCP-1387-1) firmly attached to the wall of Explored Region 9C. The
container had several notes adhered to it in at least seven different
Middle-Eastern languages, three of them no longer in use, as well as
one note apparently written in
███████. Analysis has shown that
all translatable notes have the same underlying message warning the
reader to not open the container, and claiming extreme danger should
the contents be ingested. Due to the fairly extreme network of
safeguards put in place by the creator of SCP-1387-1, opening said
container required three months of concerted effort by the
Foundation, in the end requiring usage of thirteen pounds of
twelve ounces of
████████████████, and twenty milligrams of
████ . Unfortunately, this procedure ultimately resulted in the
destruction of SCP-1387-1, with approximately 80% of SCP-1387 being
recovered and placed under Yellow-Class containment.
SCP-1387 appears in the form of the
Middle-Eastern pastry known as “borek.” Controlled testing has
shown that when ingested, SCP-1387 has a number of deleterious
effects on the human psyche, as well as causing up to
tumor-like growths to appear on the back of the subject ingesting
SCP-1387. These tumors exhibit the following properties:
Prehensile upon growing to a length of
one hundred (100) centimeters. Subjects demonstrate little conscious
control over these growths; however, removal of said growths has been
linked to several signs of physiological distress, including heavy
perspiration, increased blood flow to the extremities, and prolonged
DNA sequencing has revealed growths to
contain proteins highly similar to Pyrococcus F████████ ,
revealing potential for [DATA EXPUNGED]; as well as possible origin
Upon reaching 25 cm, growths become
permanently coated in a viscous, acidic substance; litmus tests have
shown this substance to have a pH of -1 in pure water, and a markedly
deleterious effect on human skin (including non-tumorous skin of the
Detailed examination of SCP-1387's effects at
different ingested quantities have yielded the following results:
Hour 0: Subject
reported no apparent effect. Subject was released 350 hours later
for unrelated testing.
Hour 0: Ingestion occurs. Subject
reports no abnormalities, and requests an alcoholic beverage (request
Hour 10: Subject complains of itching
on back, and requests a “back-scratcher” (request denied.)
Hour 19: Subject's complaints of
itching increase. Subject attempts to utilize objects in his
environment to dig into his back before being restrained by
personnel. Afflicted areas have become greenish in tone, and show
signs of swelling.
Hour 34: Growths have increased to 56
cm, extruding in four places from subject's back. Subject has shown
markedly decreased empathy and impulse control scores in
█████ psychological testing, and has expressed moderate discomfort during
Hour 70: Growths have increased to 135
cm, and have shown the ability to exert up to 10 N of force. Subject
shows decreased verbal ability and increased aggression, and is
terminated after injuring Agent D
███ and Dr. S
██████ in escape attempt
during attempted harvesting of one of the growths.
Hour 0: Ingestion
occurs. Subject reports no abnormalities.
Subject becomes quiet and increasingly unresponsive to interviewers.
_ tumors have formed on subject's back.
Hour 10: Subject
continues to be unresponsive. On threat of
reports increased feelings of aggression and a discovered interest in
[DATA EXPUNGED]. Tumors have reached a length of 1.3 meters.
Hour 11: Subject
lapses back into silence. Silence continues even after application
of ███████████████. Tumors have elongated to 1.9 meters. When prompted
to demonstrate strength, subject attempts to assault Agent B___.
Sedatives applied and restraints re-enabled to encourage cooperation
in further interviews. Indirect evidence suggests strength
sufficient to exert
███ N of force.
Hour 15: Subject
shows increased interest in [DATA EXPUNGED] in interviews, prompting
███ to request a shift change with Dr. A
███ (request denied.)
Tumors have reached length of 2.9 meters.
Hour 20: Tumors
reach 4.4 m before subject is terminated to avoid possible damage to
facility. Recommended further testing be performed in Mauve-class
containment facilities or higher. Agent D
███ awarded posthumous
commendation for courage.
1000 mg (1 g):
Hour 0: Ingestion occurs. Subject reports no abnormalities.
Hour 0.5: Subject reports extreme discomfort, and requests
termination (request denied).
██ tumors have sprouted and
subsequently grown up to length of ██ m. Restraints and sedatives
Hour 1: Subject growths demonstrate sufficient manual dexterity to
[DATA EXPUNGED] all restraints, as well as [DATA EXPUNGED] up to
██ personnel at once without difficulty. After killing, subject
█████████████████████ the body, resulting in
████████████ red coloration
███████████████ until subsequent
evisceration. [DATA EXPUNGED] found to be necessary in order to
contain the subject, with resultant sealing of Containment Bay
in order to prevent
█████████with associated hazards.
Additional sealing of air ducts found to be necessary to prevent
[DATA EXPUNGED]. Class-2 biohazard quarantine procedures followed,
resulting in loss of approximately
███ personnel. Recommended that
all future test subjects be fitted with explosive collars and [DATA
intends to test this stuff in amounts greater than 1 gram, they can
sure as hell find another facility to do it in. --Test Site
Administrator M███ F█████.
updated set of safety protocols should be sufficient for containment
of future test subjects, and the potential use of SCP-1387 for [DATA
EXPUNGED] cannot be ignored. Tests for 10 and 100 grams
will continue as scheduled.. --O5 Researcher P███S███.